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Mixed emotions of living in the great white North!

Mixed emotions of living in the great white North!

by | Dec 14, 2019 | Living in Canada, Settle in Canada with Confidence and Ease

Mixed emotions of living in the great white North

We often discuss many practical and interesting topics about migration, but not about the mixed emotions when living in the great white North! And, those mixed emotions come with migrating to Canada.

As we approach another change in season, and with it a lot of mixed emotions, I would like to share my personal experience when I first landed in Canada two Fall/Winters ago.You’re almost packed with your landing date in sight. And, buried deep with all the stress and excitement of your new life, a job, a home, a car, etc. But, have you thought of how your body and mind will react to the extreme change in climate when you first land in the great white North?!

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We are into the Fall season and soon heading into the harsh and white winters. Just like everybody else, I too did not give this much thought when I planned my trip in the fall/winter months. Most pictures I researched online about my destination city had nice warm sunshine, plenty of people walking the streets, shops and activities galore. And, that painted a very beautiful yet deceptive picture in my mind. Not here to demotivate anyone but a series of emotions and feelings that I went through after I first landed in the freezing cold months, aka The Canadian Winters!!

Dealing with Canadian winters

Migrating to Canada, I had never before experienced such cold weather for months! Leave alone snow falling from the sky non-stop for 3-4 days on end. I had heard of it, but took it in my stride, like I was going on a holiday and would easily cope with it. Though, the first fall of snow for someone like me was like a blessing from the sky.  And, I played in the snow for a good few hours.

But, I soon realized it’s not that easy to take it in for days! And mind you, I am not referring to the cold weather here. What I am really getting to is the dark and gloomy skies, poor visibility, and shorter days (less and less sunlight) during the winter months. 

I landed in Vancouver, British Columbia (the mild west). And, the winters are mild compared to some of the other provinces. The rain, and the layers of clothing are no different for someone who had moved from a hot and humid tropical country.  But, soon I noticed a sudden change in my behaviour, mood, and thoughts. 

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I was new to the city, sans friends or family and had migrated by myself. So, I often found myself lost in a lot of soul searching and sometimes doubtful questions:

  • Have I made the right move?
  • Why did I leave everything behind?
  • I was such an extrovert back home but, why can’t I talk to anyone freely here?
  • Why is everything so expensive here? 

Trust me, a few months down the line when you’re settled in and things seem to have moved along well, you will laugh at yourself. And, with the warmer summer months and long days coming about you’ll find life comes full circle as we approach this season again next year. So, I felt it important to discuss this and termed it as mixed emotions. as it’s often mixed with excitement, yet some soul searching.

This is my third fall/winter in Canada,  and I again find myself in that zone I was the first time around. This prompted me to write about it and maybe help those who are about to land, or are on the brink of their first experience with the change of season. Let me tell you, it’s completely natural to feel that way! Don’t add to your stress.

Tips to deal with the mixed emotions of life in the great white North!

We are so used to the sunshine, having loads of people around, and being up and about until the wee hours of the night. So, it’s a very strange situation when suddenly everything looks so glum. This is a cold country! We all know that. So, that’s something none of us can control. But, what we can do is: 

  • Smile. Most important! It’s ok to cry out once in a while so that you can smile later ???? It’s about balance.
  • Stay away from people who spread any negative thoughts around you.
  • Exercise 4-5 days a week in a gym or an outdoor location (if possible). Trust me. you will meet people there in that similar exercise/workout environment. And, you might just make a friend or two sharing some valuable health tips. Side benefit, your mind will remain active, healthy, and trigger positive thoughts too.
  • Find an outdoor winter activity; and make snow your friend! Try skiing, snowboarding, snow skating, small and moderate winter hikes or maybe develop an interest in Canada’s very own winter sport, ice hockey. I don’t know if that will really capture your attention upfront but trust me, Canadians love their sports teams. And. watching a game live in a sports arena, sports bar, etc can help build a happy tempo within you too.

  • If you have a job and work colleagues, plan to meet for a house party once a month. Or,  just go grab a drink after work on TGIF.  It helps to bond outside of your professional environment. And, you’ll have a good time.
  • Stay less connected to people back home! Yes, I know some of you would disagree with me here. But, I personally realized that every emotion attached with a small audio/video call, chat messages brings back memories that dampen your loneliness even more. You could probably increase contact once you have settled in well in your new home.
  • Travel! Canada is a huge country and if time and budget permits make sure to witness the winter from different perspectives and provinces. You will be blown away how diverse this country truly is. I did Quebec and Ontario in peak winters and felt so fortunate I was living in BC! Lol!! It just brought a smile to my face that’s it. Also remember winter fares on airlines and hotels are usually cheaper so, why not!
  • Try this app called Couchsurfing. It changed my world completely! I made a lot of friends through that and unknowingly got my first full time job thanks to a reference I made while having a BEER! Seriously! You never know when, who and what can get you where. Don’t stop attending your professional networking events though! This is just a fun add-on not a resume distribution centre. Go to make friends, if something more happens consider it destiny!
  • Live life everyday, make daily plans, don’t think too far ahead. Even the weather forecasts are not completely accurate so any cancellations can dampen your spirits totally. This might sound easier said than done. But, believe me you’ve got to instill this in yourself every single day until you start doing it.
  • Indulge in volunteer activities. You won’t get paid, but you will be out there doing something constructive, meeting new people,  and building some much-needed Canadian work experience.  And, most importantly giving back to the society which you never had time for back home. This is your new home, so no harm in making a new beginning, right!?

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How to stay positive when dealing with NO!

There are many more interactive things you can do to kill the negativity or uncertainty that the winter season brings. I have only listed a few activities that I did do personally or learned along the way looking at others like me. And, it has kept me in good shape and spirits through the changing seasons in Canada.

It is very easy to feel lost or overwhelmed. So, we need to find love (in the small things in life), and a reason to smile each day. Because, you can’t just think about making money, paying bills, buying a car, a home, etc, (even though those are vitals thorns in the shoe that we need to consider. You need to sit back, relax, and absorb every day you live through these seasons. 

So, the mixed emotions are not as bad as it may sound…it’s just a phase and remember, Summer is just around the corner! ????????????

Summer in British Columbia

How to stay positive when dealing with NO!

How to stay positive when dealing with NO!

by | Nov 23, 2019 | Living in Canada

happy positive smiley face balloons

If you have recently arrived in Canada, you likely know how important it is to stay positive when dealing with NO!

No! The word none of us like to hear. And when that happens repeatedly, it certainly isn’t the best feeling on earth. For some reason or the other you will keep hearing this word in your initial few months of arrival.

Don’t be disheartened, and stay positive. It is all part of your settlement into this wonderful country, Canada! Just imagine walking into a large hall where you do not know anybody, how would you react? Overwhelmed?! This is somewhat similar. You are walking into a new country, though as a Permanent Resident, but someone completely new and alien to the people here. They know nothing about your:

  • qualities
  • skills
  • background
  • religious beliefs
  • habits
  • behaviour, etc.

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You need to make your presence felt, your personality needs to shine.

Now as fancy as that might sound, what we all wonder is: how am I going to do that?!  It will take time to figure that out. We all did, eventually. A few examples of the NO’s you could hear in your settlement process are:

  • NO! to bank loans (though you’ve never been a defaulter)
  • NO! to renting a place (though you’re a good, clean & responsible person)
  • NO! to buying a car or phone through financing (though you’re not a crook)
  • NO! to jobs (though you might have applied with better credentials than required)

There could be a few more NO’s! but these I believe, are the most concerning. The immediate next question that comes to mind is How and What should I do to overcome these? So, through my personal experience let me guide you on how to stay positive and steps you could take to smile through this NO! challenge.

Four tips on how to stay positive when dealing with NO!

1. Build your social life

Job and money are two of the biggest pain points for most of us but what we often forget is that this is going to be our new home. You need a social life (friends) too. People you can trust, confide, party, relax, travel and do things you can’t do at work. We often leave this aspect of our new life to be dealt with later but, let me remind you it’s a very important feel good factor. We all love to have some downtime and that’s when you will crave your social circle the most. So, invest your initial few days to get to know the:

  • culture
  • society
  • neighbourhood
  • language (if you can) of the locals

Join your neighbourhood library for example. You can read up a lot from there too. Most public libraries even have regular events which have good attendance by newcomers and locals alike. Some libraries even have events happening around the city which are free to attend and those could be sweet spots to meet and interact with people. Also, look up google/local websites for events happening in different parts of the city, which you could access conveniently. Never hurts to travel a bit. You’ll get to know your city better ????.

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neighbourhood library events

Socialising Do’s and Don’ts to help you stay positive

Socializing tips

  • Smile, be humble and greet everyone. Sweetness always pays, besides showing your friendly approach.
  • Speak with confidence. Doesn’t matter if your language/accent isn’t as polished as theirs, it’s your confidence that will grab their attention.
  • Be prepared to listen. It’s a virtue that shows you respect for what others are saying.
  • Have an open mind. You never know when someone could pass on something vital.
  • Be prepared to learn and accept different personalities and people. Canada embraces diversity, and if you show respect, you’ll get it back.
  • Social events are fun and passive networking zones, not areas where you carry your resume around. Do not go looking for work with every person you meet! Remember you are there to make friends, not colleagues. If that happens in a casual way, then super!
  • Avoid political and religious topics as much as you can. They’re sensitive topics for some and you never know when you may press a pain point. Best to be neutral.
  • Don’t hesitate to talk to more and more people. As they say, ‘Never put all your eggs in one basket’. You want to know the maximum number of people you can.

2. Create a Canadian Style Resume

You have tens of years of experience or just good enough, the capability of handling big teams or working in one, a master’s degree or a professional certification or a unique skill set, it all boils down to creating a CV/Resume which matches the requirements and guidelines of the Canadian Market. As we all know it is important to stand out and be seen and a good structured resume can do the trick.

Build a Canadian style resume

Most of us follow and circulate our old (home country) resume and are often left disappointed to learn that we were not even considered for the position which was right up our alley. It is because of this very reason; not following the Canadian resume formatting styles. You do not need to completely rework your existing resume but would need to tweak and change it to match the requirements of the Canadian standards. It’s just like in any other country so don’t look at it as an added burden of work but as a means to revisit your old and maybe outdated style.

A simple do and don’t avoid blindly copying someone else’s work. Take it as an example and be unique in your own way. See how you could best maximize your experience and skills and design your resume/CV your way.

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3. Build your network

Don’t you feel that jealousy or anger when you see someone half as skilled or experienced as you work at a good job? I did! No shame in that. But in my first few weeks, I realized that it all comes down to how well you’re connected. How many people do you know and vice-versa? And No! it’s not just on LinkedIn or other social media platforms, but in person. It’s a well-known fact, most jobs anywhere in the world are ‘hidden’ jobs.

There are plenty of organised networking events that take place throughout the city; some formal and some informal. Make sure to keep a regular tab of these and try and make it to a few each month, irrespective of having a job or not. You should always consider yourself new to the country and maximize the opportunity to meet and get to know more people. You never know where life takes you and what you may discover along the way.

An anonymous quote I read comes to mind here:

‘When it comes to networking, a single strong bond is better than a stack of business cards.’

Here are some helpful networking tips

Networking Do’s Networking Don’ts
  • Have a handy networking business card
  • Be eager to listen & understand
  • Find a common professional interest
  • Appreciate a good point with a polite smile
  • Keep conversation formal & tone friendly
  • Greet & meet multiple people
  • Send a Thank You note later, if possible
  • Do not distribute your resume as flyers
  • Avoid political & religious discussions
  • Don’t be distracted while listening
  • Don’t take notes, try to absorb
  • Avoid flirting, flaunting, or bragging
  • Don’t be intimidated
  • Don’t beg for a job. Discuss skills & opportunities

4. Find your home away from home

Immigration doesn’t guarantee you a job, a home or a car. Now the big question when you arrive is finding the right place to live and the right way to travel. For most of us, our first home is a rental unit/apartment or just a room in a shared space. A good rental is always a struggle to find and when you do, you hear the dreaded NO! Prospective landlords may say you don’t have good credit, references or a full-time job. Now you’re so new to the country that none of the above reasons can be rectified any time soon.

The concerns landlords have in an immigrant-dominant population might sound a bit harsh, but if you look at it from a landlord’s perspective it’s fair too. They could or may foresee a situation where they or their rental unit could be crooked. So, what do you do then? All is not lost here.

Now you can’t wait to settle in until you have a job. You need a home irrespective. So here working around some of the above-discussed points such as building your social life, friends/colleagues, etc. could vouch for you. There have been occasions when landlords track the social media accounts of prospective tenants to investigate the authenticity of the person, so here your local Canadian professional connections could come in handy (at least it did so in a few cases I saw).

How these activities will help you stay positive when dealing with NO!

Now what good do these activities do? They’ll help you to overcome NO! stay positive, and help you to blend into life in Canada. When you know how to stay positive, slowly but surely, you begin to realize that the initial struggle is a phase and not the end of the world. Everything starts to fall in place just like pieces in a jigsaw puzzle. It has never been and never will be easy to migrate to a foreign land and expect everything to go as planned from day one. So, keep hustling, smiling, and have a positive attitude and be ready to stumble, fall and eventually rise. Learn to respect your new friends, try to embrace their culture, habits, and rules and always be ready to help.

My father told me before I left home to settle in Canada “Son, people are not bad! Circumstances make them behave differently”, so always have compassion in your heart and don’t be judgmental too soon and you will be just fine.